I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
