I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize