Me. At least after what I've been through.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She bit a glass in half.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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