I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
