Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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