Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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