im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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