"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
