Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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