Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
