I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
