Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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