just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize