It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
