i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Welp...herpes.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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