I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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