fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
