a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
