he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize