I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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