mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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