did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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