she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
