How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
