If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
