i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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