She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
