How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
