im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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