Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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