The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
