Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
that's an acceptable place to lick
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
