im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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