Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
