You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
