Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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