in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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