You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
