Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
