My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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