I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
