dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize