apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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