We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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