I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
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well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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