Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
