forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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