HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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