If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
