omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
