The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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