So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
