ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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