Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
