The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The air taste purple.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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