and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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