I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
