Can i not drive my cunt home
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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