for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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