Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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