woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
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My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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