I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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