I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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