I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
