So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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