Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
